random amblings.......

God! its been reallllyyyyyy long since i posted smthng... n i knw watever reasons i give would sound like excuses ..cos i have none actually... hmmmm..so lets c how life's been last 20 days that i have been away .... it was great actually.... home was great fun... i kinda ran away frm college to be hme for a long weekend- which was kinda self declared :)
u knw its like i feel at times the urge to live my life on my own terms... m bound by duty n rules n regulations n all that crap...but i knw its my life n this phase will never come back.. i mean to be able to spend time at home.. with no cares in the world..no obligations n all.. cos i guess post wedding there will be people to thnk of n to ask.... i may i may not.. cos i feel my home is my "being" n no one as in NO ONE on earth can tell me if or when or how many days i can go there for..... i wonder hw previous generation of women could take this kind of bondage..male dominated n crafted existence.... hmmmmm..tough !! it still is prevalent in i would say 80% of our country. wat liberation we c is very urban n sad enough hardly a figure worth mentioning ....
again the percent of women who claim to be "liberated" mistook the term with wat could be a warped brain atrophy .... i state it very simply though.... never take shit from anybody.... n i mean nobody on earth.... i guess at times this has lead me to build a shield around me..... its like self preservation... when u have been hurt a zillion times u jus don want anythng to break u again n so u go on this mode... hmmmm....
m super slepy its almost an hr past midnight.... i hate sleeping on saturday nights :) especially when it rains n is all cool n nice outside...
atleast i broke the dead lock on my blog today...hope to make more sense in tomo's post :)

the pain had vanished.... the heart so numb
the sighs were hollow like the drowning sun...
my hand stretched out for a gasp of life
shadows disappearing in the morning light.......

i strained so hard for the final look...
tears all blinding my gaze of u...
is this the end i ask myself
where was i when life passed me by
it all flashed past like a blaze of light....

it seemed a blur n so it was..
a moment to end that seemed so far....


P.S : i knw i promised part 2 to my previous post n i shall keep up my word..till then jus few words which tumbled out when i read the plight of a young girl who met her end quite unexpectedly.... maybe this was how she felt...