Saturday, May 30, 2009

To Die or not to......

hmmm... a weird title for a post ..u bet... but a very serious mind twister.... i have alws been pro Euthanasia..mercy killing as it is popularly known.... in Washington the first person actually called off the supports under the assisted Suicide law..her name is Linda Fleming.. she was battling a terminal pancreatic cancer... as alws there are people protesting against this brave lady's act.. n i wonder why
i knw for a fact that death isnt the end, its a transition to another sphere.. a dimension not knwn so wel to the human mind ... but we all r souls .. n every soul knws for a fact it cant be jus moves on ... energy can neither be created nor destroyed...remember!!
so lets explore the connection betwn after life states n Euthenasia..... m gona be quoting Linda.... hoping she has found peace n her light ..... our lady wanted to call it off cos she had been thru enough already the exruciating pain her body couldn bear anylonger...... she said "since i m a very spiritual person..i want to be clear minded conscious n alert at the time of death....." the pain medication was kinda dulling her spirit n she wasn in control.... so u c its very important to invite the end n be in the right frame of mind before u pass on..i knw the accidents victims don have that choice... will come to that later....
our last impressions at the time of death are very strong they r wat in many ways decide our soul's journey... we must be able to accept our end not fear it n KNW FOR A FACT that its not the end... so why shouldn we be allowed to decide when we can pull off the supports... infact all terminally ill patients should be allowed to ....
the art of dying is as important as art of living.....
Linda was at peace when she passed on ..her physical body had withered but no her spirit.. m sure she saw the light, n was aware of wat was awaiting her....
i would continue this in my next post.... there r things i wana talk abt.. like the light..the spirit guides... n a lot more...
catch ya!!

Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Few bitter sweet moments !!

hi there
long time.. its been a while since i posted smthng... today was a weird day... i went thru so many thngs in the day that by the end of it i wasn sure whether i shud frown abt things or rather jus smile n move on.... work wise i knew the day was going to be hard and it was.. we were shouted at.. now i m kinda used to getn shouted at.. n as i was walking into the chamber of horrors i told myself no matter what he throws at u ...u nt gona let it affect u...i kinda pictured this shield arnd me making me "thick skinned "pretty literally, n it worked.. while he was throwing shit at us i was jus mutering the choicest of swears under my breath..n i walked out pretty unfazed :) proud of myself... i was bit disturbed so i jus called a pal to canteen to get it out of my system...thank god for friends... its was my usual S.O.S call ..... hmmmm then i got the good news abt a very good friend getting engaged ..n guess when ... Tomorrow :) how cool is that.... in the middle of all this another friend of my left for home cos her dad is citical n i jus wondered wats this life all about... i for a wild moment felt so small in this game called life... thanks for the vision or i would have got wallowed in my lil insignificant existance, i jus thought today if i will move on jus as it is... few people may cry for a while but thats it... no one will perish cos i m nt there... so i wondered if i m nt to be taken seriously why shud i take my troubles seriously...... i'd rather do my best in my time on earth ..i wana reach out to those who need me.. today a patient who is mentally challenged jus melted my heart... his smile was the warmest n most wonderful thng tat happened to me the entire day....... when i waved to the kiddo bye he sheepishly smiled a bit embarrased n waved back, it was Gods way of telling me Babe u r lucky.... n that u r sent here for a purpose so jus do ur work n don get all worked abt some scums who r born to be a pain u knw here.....
n of course the good news of the day, for which i m sooooooo thankful is that i passed my exams :) even if that A****** gave me borderline marks atleast i passed :) THANK GOD!!!!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

This one's for you :)

Some people in our lives are so special n precious that u jus wana guard them n hide them in a corner of ur heart where no one would ever inflict any harm on them, life would never be mean or unfair to them, no evil will ever brush past them.... I guess thats what they call Love!!!!
this post is my attempt to send into the universe the gratitude i feel for finally having met the love of my life....
well i would be lying if i say i wasn bothered or i was too busy in my career to think of love n such stuff... i may have laughed over the subject a dozen of times with close friends over a cup of coffee but we all knew life was acting up big time... all of my friends are doing well professionally but none of us were truly happy.. we all had arrived in our ways...proved ourselves in various walks of life.... climbed mountains to reach where we all r today but most of us were groping in the dark for the "love of our life"....
have u ever noticed life gives u the best of stuff when u least expect it to..or when u r so caught up in some insignificant event that u couldn care for anythng else...
i guess thats how i was introduced to the one i m dedicating this post to....
The universe does conspire to give u wat u wish for with all ur soul n conviction..n i m lucky my prayers were answered.. i dono wat to call him... my fiance or my boy friend or whatever.. i jus realised u cant name some emotions ..they jus form the core of ur existence and thats it... he wrote a beautiful quote for me which goes like

"Love is primarily giving, not recieving. Giving is the
highest expression of potency. Giving is more joyous than
recieving,not because it is deprivation, but because
in the act of giving lies the expression of my aliveness...."
Erich Fromm

its a beautiful thought... we r all so consumed by the thought of acquiring , receiving that we forget to give... when we give unconditionally frm our soul we shall reach the divinity that love is all about.... n thats where i wana go with him........

Thursday, May 14, 2009

help me title this one :)

hi there....
i had to shake myself off the gloom n doom i have been going thru since yesterday... i won mope on it for more than is required but will surely tell u guys wat happened... i had one of the worst days of my life yesterday...... i was shouted at in the most inhuman of ways simply cos of my boss's ego was hurt or should i say not fed.... i felt the blow in the pit of my stomach i was so nt expecting such a wild response, so i couldn prepare for the attack....... he said the most derogatory of things,my past 2 yrs seemed jus a waste of time n effort..he questioned everythng from my credibility to my integrity... in short No One HAS EVER treated me as bad as this guy did yesterday.....
after the conversation it took me a few minutes to realise wat hit me... i had to cry to let it off my system, the good thing was that my friends helped by saying the choicest of abuses to him :) n it felt sooooooo good ... Thank God for friends..they r like angels who make u laugh thru ur tears :)
yesterday i realised the futility of us trying to please peeople, i knw i m in shit, cos i m a student registered under him,practically i shud suck upto him ..but i wont... i jus decided to show him the middle finger ( thru my attitude) n move on... the whole of today i was like a zombie in the department..but i was bringing out my survival instincts... i need them now cos LIFE IS TOUGH!!
i read in Coriee's blog that we all have 2 wolves inside us..the gory n the tame .. at times we need to feed the aggressive one n at times the tame one... i need to shift gears,its like diving off thousands of feet above the ground... with ur parachute on ur back... u ned to pull the lever to set u up.... i guess i need to do the same nw.. but m all ready for a good fight... so lets see how i come out of this unique battle of sorts.....

Tuesday, May 12, 2009

random thought

but since yesterday i feel so good :) proud of me for doing what all i had actually intended to .....
it feels nice to sit back after a fruitful day ...curl up in ur sheets content with the labour of the day... at times when the day throws tough moments n u actually well m feeling much happier n in control today :) its been a while since i Actually did wat i wanted to .... as in like work out... i so hate myself when i m nt physically active i imagine more flab than there actually is... n psyche myself out....
gracefully work ur way thru them feels nice... i guess more than ur profile its how u handle each event or not so eventful event of ur day that makes up a good career n a beautiful life...... profound!!! :)
there's this thing that had been bothering me for quite sometime, its abt how people misunderstand u ..draw their own conclusions n write u off .... it bothers me a bit but not as much as it did earlier... when i look arnd me i wonder if the "good things" actually exist...i see people walk on like zombies.. working their way up selfishly... talk crap abt others... many times i step back from all of this jus to clear my head of the muck that goes arnd... its so important to steal a few minutes to jus close ur eyes n realise that its all so worthless.... the petty mindedness is so not human ... at times i feel like shaking people to tell them hello.... don be such a worm ..get a life man!
i pray i can keep my calm n smile all glowing for yet another day full if challenge and possibilies :) i m fallin off so guess time to hit the sack :)

Sunday, May 10, 2009

pls read the date as 10/05/09 :)

its 3 minutes to midnight... and i should have bloged earlier but i was in a rotten mood since evening... had i blogged i would have jus spit venom...... i m nt sticking to my committment of bloging daily..n i don like myself for this.... it reflects wat a laid back person i have become these days... theres so much i need to do.... i need to get proactive, but here i am jus sitting n staring into the space.... waiting for a fairy God mother to come n set everythng right...has it ever happened to u that when there's lot on ur plate.... u jus don wana do anythng.... well thats hw i feel today, i also realised that my will power needs a good polishing... i was knwn for it once upon a time..... but these days it seems to be a long forgotten virtue....... hmmmm i need overhauling... could somlbody pls help.............. :) hmmmm that was a cry for help!!! i knw who to turn to.... it has to be me....
guess time to get into action......
the plan is i set small goals n tick them off on time.... so fellas wish me luck...... i so hope next time i sign in ...m more satisfied n peaceful...

Saturday, May 9, 2009

sing along baby !!

My life is brilliant.
My love is pure.
I saw an angel.
Of that I'm sure.
She smiled at me on the subway.
She was with another man.
But I won't lose no sleep on that,
'Cause I've got a plan.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.

Yeah, she caught my eye,
As we walked on by.
She could see from my face that I was,
Fucking high,(Real version)
Flying high,(clean version)
And I don't think that I'll see her again,
But we shared a moment that will last till the end.

You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
I saw your face in a crowded place,
And I don't know what to do,
'Cause I'll never be with you.
You're beautiful. You're beautiful.
You're beautiful, it's true.
There must be an angel with a smile on her face,
When she thought up that I should be with you.
But it's time to face the truth,
I will never be with you. 

 if u haven heard this song pls go right ahead n listen up..its by James Blunt and wat a gorgeous piece of music... its one of my fav.... i jus did a karoke and feels so  good :) i think singing takes u to an emotional high...try singing aloud feel the air fill ur lungs n jus carry on baby!! :) nothing feels as exhilarating .... it jus doesn matter if u bray or can croon a bit.... all that does is tat jus feel beautiful n sing :) singing has no connection to if u r a singer or not.... we all can case u haven seen camerron diaz do the stunt in MY best friends.. pls do so.. she did the worst karoke ever but the must lovable too :) my fav. so far!!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

day one :)

hmm... long time! i was too caught up in a few worldly things like Exams! which kept me away frm my passion of sorts these days.... yup its my blog :) i joined the blog marathon(  last night n i hope i can keep at it... churn out some good posts here .....
well... theres this thing i realised tat some of my previous posts have been quite on the heavier side i guess i need to blog often when m all happy n gay :) n not jus when life is getting a bit tough to handle...hmmm... shall keep tat in mind
anyws ... i did a good thing today ... i caught up with an old friend :) wonder how we jus move on and leave a few threads behind ... entangled  n all jus there like a spiders web... making the past look like a haunting old tomb of hidden memories....  hmmm.. spooky hhuuh... u bet...
personally i hate advancing in life without resolving old issues... if i have it my way i would reach back to all n every situation which maybe i could set right.. wounds i may heal better now...situations which i could better justify now.... i don like people carrying emotional burden 
far too long than its really required! 
i am lucky to be able to move on after a blow ... it doesn take me too long to dust off n start all over again... i don give up till i find wat i m looking for and don settle for anythng but the best..guess tat helps to keep moving on .... hmmm.... but then theres this breed of people my friend.... who jus wana stay stuck... they hang on to the pain, the anger... are not ready to forgive n kinda make life a living hell..... i so tried making sense to him... tat things happen for a reason life we cant live with blinkers (only horses look good in them) and percieve things as how they appear...u HAVE to look at the bigger picture... the canvas of life is greater than we think it is.... NO ONE can make or break it...most of it is in our hands and much if it is pre ordained.... so why keep grudges n stay Will pass u by..... its scary loosing ur life over past which cant be undone.....  i spent 2 hrs convincing him.... but each to his own finally n i cant do anythng more for him! sigh....  
anyws.... i have a few good stuff in my kitty :) for the blog marathaon :) n am i excited ?! u bet i am :)