Friday, December 25, 2009

To Err....


"We err because we are humans. So don't beat yourself up for the mistakes you made. Learn your lessons and let go. Even if you don't see hope, strain your neck to see that faint gleam of sunrays streaming thorough your window. It is staring you in the face, waiting patiently for you to pay heed. Life isn't cruel. Just hang in there and keep the faith intact"
these lines r frm a friend's blog... its weird .. i have been v disturbed abt smthng.... a visit to her blog n notice jus the lines i needed........ like a tonic.......
its surprising hw people forget the goodness n remember only the bad.. hw they blame .. label.......u may be good 100 times but if u faulter once or twice ...nobody remembers the good... ur bad is thrown at u time n again......
it hurts.... i m feeling down... it may be festive season but i m nt happy.... i dono where to go n who to turn to... so as usual i come here n..... thankflly as i write i feel again... i m nt numb anymore... as i write my eyes get flooded and the wet warmth of tears comfort me......
Life is tough.... i knw i need to accept it...... to transcend it....... lessons r tougher.... i hope i don crumble.... I don't want my actions or speech to hurt anyone on this earth......
i hope i live up to the realisations which hit me...
thanks Stillness... u really helped........
i wrote the post so far around 2 in the night... on Xmas eve.... i was realy dwn as is pretty evident...
life is wat we make of it... u weep u weep alone and u smile n the world smiles with u..... so true...
its nice to be able to reason out things with oneself... i love doing that.. i love n hate n cry with myself.. i fight with myself when i let mysefl down... no its not cos i m consumed with EGO n Self but its cos i realise i m more for others...i m responsible ... n i have no right wat so ever to hurt another being.... i have done it in past n i realise it was earth shattering for me....
somebody was right in saying the one who is wrong n has erred is more in agony than the one who has been hurt... cos guilt works faser than cyanide.... n is worse cos it causes slow death....
thank god i m over it now...n ready to face life ... i have forgiven myself n feel more responsible now:)
Merry Xmas to all....

Saturday, December 19, 2009

A New Life :)

its been a very long time .... i have been away frm the blogosphere for far too long.. but surprisingly as soon as i log in i feel connected ....
I m back and i m Married!!!!! wow.. i cant still believe it... though it sucks to be back all alone to hostel but when u love someone so dearly .. u can feel their presence all around u.... i m smitten :) feels awesome n the best thing is its puppy teenage love type of feeling with elements of maturity , understanding .. and yes commitment follows.. cos u belong to the person so actually there's no separate issue which once upon a time must have plagued when u r going around with someone....
lots to write about .. n m gona share all my experiences with this space.... its like reliving the moments.... some bitter some sweet... but all worth cherishing :)