illusion!!! or is it ?

considering April is my birth month..i haven done justice to it blog wise...... hmmm anyws i hope i can snatch more of "me" time n get cosy in my space..... 

at times i wonder why do we give ourselves so much to things n people that eventually it hurts us....  is it only me or even u my fellow bloggers go thru this..... its so weird n painful.... age doesn matter .... experience still fails u ... eventually the fact is if u r an emotiomal fool u'l alws remain one.... 

sigh!!! somethngs never change they say ..... hmmm.... the secret is the balance to nt give away urself totally to anythng or anyone... they say balance n be involved yet from a distance.... yup the word i have been looking for is Detachement .... so one has to be in the thick of things n yet stay detached ..weird !! God sure has strange thngs on his mind for us.... he wants us to go on with the game of life... be there n yet be detached enough so that the blows r gentle .... the pains arent crippling n the when the sunsets the night isnt tat fearful ....... hmmm .... tough don u think so... life never ceases to teach us... n everyday i find myself coping with yet another fall out... 

wish i culd be less over the top in the matters of heart n jus learn to chill... when will that day come..m waiting patiently..has been a while .. but i still find the girl in me hurting js the way it did  what seems like an eternity ago .... n time n again i come back to the conclusion tat its all an illusion... its all Dust in the wind......... so don hang on.......  :)

sunday blues !!

sometimes we dono wat we want in life... even when life is beautiful .things r going great u wonder why r u blue....

tats exactly how i feel right now... i think sundays usualy don go very well with me.... i m ok the entire day but as the day wears off..i jus feel sad.... its like better to not have a day off....  i think staying away from ur family does tat to u.... u miss them so much tat after point u jus go numb the pain stays but the reason which otherwise is so obvious fades away into oblivion....... n jus the feelings remain..... 

at times i feel people have a lot of expectations....  and u jus don ever feel u live to upto them no matter how much u do or hw hard u try..... qustions r asked and at times when there's silence u wonder tat u shud have done it but u haven............

hmmmm.... i knw i don make much sense ..i m jus rattling off some nonsense....... i m jus ................. bored............ 

life presents u with such situations that u wonder if its a blessing or wat? by or wat i mean tat u jus don realise how to deal with things.. its like u r shown the moon on a dark night and u r told its up there somewhere to shower u with light ...don worry even though its a cloudy night ... the moon is still upthere.. jus in case u forgot... for mental satisfaction.... but then wats the use of having it so far away when u really need it closer to show u the light ..... its wat i call "dhoka" and life plays many such games.... it gives u things which r actually nt there .... they r a haze somewhere far away..... and yet u r supposed to kid urself into believing it exists!

its like "nothing i have is truly mine" 

ok i need to snap out of this mood.. but writting abt it alws helps :) its like ur best friend ... tats wat my blog is....... 

m feeling a bit better. need to hit the books nw....... so catch ya