Saturday, August 29, 2009

Indian wedding!!!

helloss.... long time as alws... college has become busier than ever... n come to thnk of it ... its the last few months remaining i kinda want to cling to each day ...precious life as a free willy ... having lived so long as a loner in hostel rooms i wonder how would it be to be with someone of the opposite sex.... hey i m straight n all but i mean am used to girls arnd me ..u knw.... n hostel is like u can live as if a tornado jus hit ur room.... live with a pile of clothes n books n stuff strewn all over... its my mess n i love it kinda of a thing..... i will have it tough fitting in the frame of married woman.... it sure psyches me out at times..... it could be fun also.... but i hate emotional dependence ... i mean it jus hurts u at the end of the day doesn it... am i being critical ..hmmm i dono.... but isnt it true all the expectations n living together brings a myriad of adjustments with it..... i m shit scared ..... we humans dig our own graves by first falling in love then marrying n if it wasn enough we reproduce to bring more of our species to suffer like we do........ crazy coots i say... sigh....
i have heard marriage can be fun ..... i hope so i am looking frwd to it.. but i have jitters.... i am a fiercely independent being ... i speak my mind ...do my own thng my own way... being a female has never been a deterant till date have never been made to feel any lesser by anyone on earth... so suddenly fitting into the wife ..daughter in law n such frame is bloody frightening.... i hate rituals.. i hate too many women hankering over my head asking me things to do or to talk n walk like this n do this n do that..... **** man!! harrowing!!!
WHY do we do this to ourselves .... y cant we love n be spared the pain n torture associated with it.... y cant life be easy n smooth.... y should we marry n be made to feel like cows being sold to a new household..... i hate this tradition of marriage in our country..... is so bloody boys side dominated shit..... ya i am being vocal n pretty blunt in this post... but hey its wat i feel... n its true!!!

12 comments:

Tranquility Speaks said...

In total agreement with your view Nups. But don't think negatively about what's coming. It just might be the life you've always dreamt of. Your husband might just turn out to be your soulmate. Who understands you in and out and compliments you. I wish all good things for you.

Nups, every relationship, needs to be worked upon, which is why I guess it's said that marriage is a full time job. I know you will make it a success.Shall come back to you for tips when I am in your shoes :)

Bernie said...

Be the change you want to see....Good Luck to you. I usually like traditions but I understand your reluctance.....perhaps Tranquility is right, he just might be your soul mate.

Wanda said...

Marriage traditions where the female's role is more subservient would scare most Nups...going into a marriage where both agree to be respectful equals would be ideal.
Do as Bernie says...Be the change you want to see! Marriage can be great!

Wanda

Pramoda Meduri said...

Marriage is the one thing that can make u realizes how much you can love, how much u are important to a family, how much u can care ur mate and children, how much u can live ur life..

I agree, that without marriage we can be free individuals, but yar, there is some divinity in living for those whom u love.. Marriage stops u from taking many decisions, but it make u realize how much u can sacrifice and how good u r...

Enjoy ur life.."Together u can love the world more than u do alone" ...

Its grt to know abt ur college days also..they are precious..i'm missing them vary badlyyy..:(

U enjoy on my behalf alsoo..and let me know how beautiful it is..

Hope to see more posts from u..:)

Cheers

EM said...

it is hard. breathe deep and let love take you through it all :>. until next time,

Jack said...

Nups,

I do agree a lot of our traditions need a fresh look with the changing times and updated. Who said that you need to change your personality after marriage? You remain what you are and let him be what he is. You both need to adjust to each other, respect and understand the space of each other. In any relationship there is little adjustment needed, even in friendships isn't it? Happiness is in your hands and you can make life full of fun or whinning as you want to. I think enough or I may go on and it will be longer than your post.

Take care

nups said...

hey Stillness
thanks dear.... i knw u r not in the best of mental frame these days... hope it gets better for u n u r ur true self soon enough :)
u knw he is my soul mate.... i love him .. wat psyches me out is the Marriage scene ... as in the actual thng of going to guy's place n all that... the more i thnk the more it kind shakes me.... i guess its only normal and like all fears i have to face it to deal with it..... i guess its worth it when u love someone so dearly :)

nups said...

hey Bernie
u r right i will be the change ... its jus at times i panic n write sus SOS notes :)
u take care dear see u arnd...

nups said...

hey Wanda
i knw ... its jus the jitters i guess... i m very happy n positive but at times i PANIC .... only human i guess.....
my inlaws r wonderful people .. m sure i m gona feel ok ....

nups said...

hi Pramoda
saw u tagged me ... thanks :)
i knw babes... but u knw as the date closes on u.... it freaks u out... so i hit the buttons then ...like i did yesterday...but situation under control :) don worry

nups said...

hey EM
nice to c arnd... i read ur ASHA post... lemme c wat i can help u with ...
n u have hit the nail on the head pal...let love take u through :)
i knw... i trust him n myself... :)

nups said...

hey Jack
was waiting for ur comment :)
ya i knw wat u mean... u knw sometimes we knw everythng but its jus that we still panic.... i love him n i can go thru hell for him..... but wat psyches me is the family thing u knw..all relatives n all humdrum.... new place n my god!! lemme not start i would again lose it :)
i knw it takes 2 to tango... m ready for it :)